Nov 26, 2010

And you can't fight the tears that ain't coming..

Sometimes, I wonder though.

A fall in the snow, an exam, a post exam lunch celebration and 3 hour chat over coffee, a failed pub escapade, a spontaneous re-grouping at a random location, and an almost shopping spree turned tea drinking marathon turned dinner splurge, with more chatter and laughter.

A happiness of sorts, but at the end of the day, those lingering doubts and hidden insecurities make an ugly appearance. Maybe I'm focusing on the wrong things, for all the wrong reasons.

'when everything's made to be broken, I just want you to know who I am...'

Nov 21, 2010

6th sense?

Sometimes, you just know. You hear the opening bars of a song, and know the goosebumps are on the way. You make a new friend, and know that it's the beginning of a lifetime of memories. You walk out of the airport in a country, and know you've come to the right place.

That instant synaptic connection.

Maybe the universe does have a plan for all of us :)

Nov 17, 2010

Our song

'We never were
We'll never be

Strangers kissing in the pouring rain

Chasing after your leaving train
But we know that's not how our song goes'

-Spill Canvas

Nov 14, 2010

Some kind of wonderful :)

So I was born in Uppsala, Sweden. And I live in Stockholm  right now. Uppsala is 35 mins away by train, which makes it the ideal weekend getaway, and provides a sort of calm escape, away from the chaos.

Last year, visiting the neighbourhood where I grew up brought back flashbacks of my childhood, playing in that park and running around along roads. It felt like re-reading a chapter at the beginning of a book that you can't remember well because you've lost yourself in the rest of the story since then. Today, I visited my dad's host family, 18 years after they saw me last.

Some kind of wonderful, to say the least.

I felt like I belonged to that family of almost strangers, something I've not felt since arriving here 2 months ago. The warmth, the kindness, the genuine caring. A relationship still going strong for almost 30 years, weathered by time and still as strong. They've seen me as a newborn, remember stories of ironical chats I had with my dad at age 3, and have followed my life across the miles, through letters and emails and jpeg attachments. Their kids have kids now, and I found myself making with friends with that generation.

I'm flooded right now, with this overwhelming feeling of joy and happiness and appreciation. Of how there's still nice people left in this world. Hope in humanity restored, in the space of a few hours. Holding Stina's little gloved hand and walking through the snow, with her grandma by my side, made up for all the hours of darkness that have come and gone. Hugging people I hardly know, and feeling like I've known them all my life.

Some kind of wonderful, to say the least.